The Players - The Beve Legend 2010
Scott Thomson
Not many people achieve the feat of moving from the all time Hall of Shame board to Beve Legend status in one year but we are not talking about an ordinary man when we discuss Scott Preston Thomson.
Picture the scene, Scott is looking forward to getting out on his home course for once in the Beve and having a great day in the Ayrshire Sun plus a night out in his home town of Ayr. Even before the event starts though he is drawn in to what is the ultimate nightmare scenario for him. Not only is he in the team of his nemesis James Tonner but he is also out with him in the second Greensomes game of the morning. A event so cataclysmic that he even answers his very first e-mail in three years with a half page rant bemoaning his bad luck of having to leave one Tonner control freak in the morning to play golf with another, along with a customary rant at his side kick Ally. Normally communication with Scott has to run through his secretary Yvonne Thomson, long suffering wife and sister of Team Tonner Captain James.
On to the actual day then. Now Scott's day is made better before he tees off when the long suffering Ally is handed an extra large polo shirt which make him look like he is doing an advert for the benefits of being on the slimfast diet. Well the golf kicks off and much to Scott and Captain Tonner's relief they manage a resounding victory in the morning which means that they can both rest easy that all family dinners will pass off peacefully and without recrimination.............. well for at least a year anyhow. In the afternoon by all accounts he spends more time slagging Ally than concentrating on his golf and goes down in a narrow loss in the fourballs. One point from two then becoming the joint most successful player in Beve History with 2.5 Beve Trophies, an eventuality that makes the Captain of Team Tonner wish he had never come up with the idea of the Beve Trophy in the first place.
Now this all sounds that it is going rather well but the mix of Thomson and beer is never a happy one. Scott starts the night with a few quiet beers at the course then outside with Ally in the beer garden. At around 8.30pm he turns and he gets his drunk face on and starts his usual tricks of refusing to share the Beve Trophy whisky with the losing players, abusing the bar staff, bragging about his unbeaten run and generally causing a rammy with whoever is stupid enough to engage him in conversation. He also caused further disgust by dropping one at the dinner table that was described as resembling the smell of a 'very large dead rat under an old house's floor boards that had passed away several weeks earlier'. He let it go as he was swigging whisky from the cup at the same time that the main course was being passed around and then tried to blame it on Ally.
Towards the end of the night, Scott has brother in laws in a vice like arm lock trying to persuade them that Ochiltree is 'on the way' to Kilmarnock and that the bus should drop him off at his house. The bus driver then arrives and he tries tell him that Ochiltree is 'on the way' to Kilmarnock but he is having none of it and Eddie drags him on the bus before none of us get home. More chaos on the bus with Thomson popping up in every drunken photo on the way to Kilmarnock
When he gets to Kilmarnock, he dives out for a pee as Eddie is trying to find his clubs and 10 mins later after extensive discussions with Eddie he 'remembers' that he left his clubs in Ally's car. At this point the bus driver really does wants to kill him. He then spends the 10min walk to Eddie's phoning his house phone repeatedly at 1.30am to tell Yvonne that he is staying at Eddie's but she not answering. Eddie is now worried about his chances of living if he ever gets home. He arrives at Eddie's but Keri's sister is staying and he has to sleep in the pull out bed........... more chaos. Scott then grabs a marshmallow and a raspberry doughnut supper which "hits the spot" and drunkenly scrambles to bed. When he wakes up at 7am, wondering where he is, he suddenly remembers and quickly gets dressed then gets Eddie out of bed to phone a taxi as he has to get home for 'his fencer' who is coming at 8.00am.
After all that Scott has now officially been recognised as the only player that is excused from drinking at future Beve Trophies so that some semblance of order can me maintained in future events.